The strangest thing has been coming over my group of friends this month. Everyone is nervous, excited, or annoyed. The tension in the air is palpable but no one will admit why they are so freaked out. And it is all our ten year high school reunion's fault! Some of us are on diets. Others are making up excuses not to go. But all of us share the common feeling of not believing that we are this old and wondering what we have done with the last ten years of our lives.
There are the PhDs, the world travelers, and the financial successes that have nothing to worry about. They have an answer. And there are people with the absolutely adorable family with 2.5 kids, the white picket fence, and the perfect dog. They have proof that what they have been doing is worth while. Then there are the rest of us. Mediocre jobs, unfinished education, slight detours from the path laid before us on that glorious day in June 0f 2000. What are we supposed to say?
A friend of mine was telling me that she was having a small crisis of un-accomplishment when thinking about having the "What have you been up to?" conversation with people. She is a nurse, which I think is beyond admirable, and owns her own house but is single and the women she works with are constantly telling her that she can't have babies forever. It was then suggested to her that she take her dog to the Family Day reunion events and talk about how hard he was to housebreak and train. I could be right there with her talking about how hard it is taking care of four geriatric cats but why do we have to validate what we have been doing by showing that we have been caring for someone besides ourselves? No one expects any of the men at our reunion to explain if they're not married or don't have kids.
I don't know how much of this is pressure that we put on each other or that we put on ourselves. I said above that I think what my friend has accomplished is amazing but I can't seem to see my own life that way. I'm lucky enough to live far away and can't go back to the reunion but I know that if I was there I would be scrambling for an explanation as to why I hadn't used my film degree and figuring out how to explain what I do without using the word secretary. And it is silly. Everyone does things are their own pace and can accomplish great things at any time. I know this. And yet, I can't seem to tell myself that either.
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