The strangest thing happened Wednesday night while I was watching Modern Family. I couldn't take my eyes off of baby Lily. She was just the cutest little thing in the scene. I found that I couldn't concentrate on what the actors were saying because I was overwhelmed with how adorable she was. This has never happened to me before on TV or real life. Babies have been ever so slowly getting cuter but they have never been distracting. I felt totally ridiculous. And a little relieved.
I was so worried that it was never going to happen. That I was never going to really like babies. Let alone love them. I kind of figured that eventually I would just have them and remind myself that I needed to go through that phase to get to kids. That they would be my babies and I would love them but I really wouldn't enjoy them. Now I have hope that will change.
For the first time, I got that "Awe" feeling that I get when I see kittens and puppies. I would have willingly held her without any coxing from her dads. That is a huge step for me. I don't know if this is a freak occurrence and she is the only baby that I'm enamored with but I'm not going to pursue it further. I'm just going to let it happen, waiting to see how I feel when I see babies on TV, in my neighborhood, or in the store. I'm trusting the longer we wait to have kids the more I will want one and maybe I will actually be excited to have a baby.
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